A letter to my mom...
For my AAUW 'Talking on Paper' assignment, I thought I'd write about the woman who made my birthday month possible, my mom.
Mark Twain said, "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
Unfortunately for me, I didn't learn the same lesson about my mom until she had died. I regret not being able to tell her how I felt about her. After almost thirty years without her, this is what I long to say to her... this is what I learned.
1. You were wise. In high school, when I was dating a certain boy who had more looks than potential, you did not say, "Don't date him". You simply said, "If you marry him, you will have to work very hard your entire life." I knew, deep down, I was not a career woman and this really made me think about my choice.
2. You were fun. When I came into the house, and you would be cleaning with Cha Cha music blaring in every room, I didn't realize, at the time, you were making it fun. I can totally picture you, dancing with the vacuum. I thought you were silly but you were making the best of the task at hand.
3. You were strong. You came from a very poor background and lost so many people, at such an early age. Yet, you worked hard. You made a family and a comfortable home for all of us.
4. You loved unconditionally. I know us kids were rough on you. We did some incredibly stupid stuff but you still loved us and freely told us so. Looking back, I don't know how you could, at various times, but you still did.
On the night that you died, I had called. You had a clarity about you that you hadn't had in months. You knew me. You knew we were in the here and now. You gave me the greatest gift that night. You said to me, "I know this is the end and I accept it. Don't worry. I love you Denise."
It took me longer than seven years to realize how much you had learned Mom. Thank you for the lessons you taught me. I have learned so much from you and I miss you every moment of my life. I'm who I am because of who you were.
Mark Twain said, "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
Unfortunately for me, I didn't learn the same lesson about my mom until she had died. I regret not being able to tell her how I felt about her. After almost thirty years without her, this is what I long to say to her... this is what I learned.
1. You were wise. In high school, when I was dating a certain boy who had more looks than potential, you did not say, "Don't date him". You simply said, "If you marry him, you will have to work very hard your entire life." I knew, deep down, I was not a career woman and this really made me think about my choice.
2. You were fun. When I came into the house, and you would be cleaning with Cha Cha music blaring in every room, I didn't realize, at the time, you were making it fun. I can totally picture you, dancing with the vacuum. I thought you were silly but you were making the best of the task at hand.
3. You were strong. You came from a very poor background and lost so many people, at such an early age. Yet, you worked hard. You made a family and a comfortable home for all of us.
4. You loved unconditionally. I know us kids were rough on you. We did some incredibly stupid stuff but you still loved us and freely told us so. Looking back, I don't know how you could, at various times, but you still did.
On the night that you died, I had called. You had a clarity about you that you hadn't had in months. You knew me. You knew we were in the here and now. You gave me the greatest gift that night. You said to me, "I know this is the end and I accept it. Don't worry. I love you Denise."
It took me longer than seven years to realize how much you had learned Mom. Thank you for the lessons you taught me. I have learned so much from you and I miss you every moment of my life. I'm who I am because of who you were.
2 comments:
That is sweet, Denise.
Thank you for sharing.
***
A beautiful letter, Denise. We all take our parents for granted at times, but later in life we fully understand what they did for us, and how they shape who we are.
Odile
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