"It’s been ten Christmases since my mother passed away. I was pregnant with my first son and she was across the continent in a nursing home dying of cancer. Christmas came and went and my beautiful baby boy was born not knowing the wonderful woman I knew as mom.

Four more Christmases came and went and another beautiful boy joined our family without knowing his grandma. As I changed from a daughter to a mother, my heart ached that my mother couldn’t see my growth and her lifelong teachings come to fruition. She didn’t see my boys learn to walk and reach for independence. Where was she when I needed advice on diaper rash or tantrum control?

Christmas was when I missed my mom most. After she died, I was the distributor of the family ‘treasures’. I kept all the Christmas decorations. My husband would complain when the dingy, frosted ornaments would be placed by the new, fancy Hallmark collectables. “They were my mom’s,” I would explain.

On the center of the Christmas table, I placed a tattered Santa figurine that was once velvety and noble looking. Now all that remained was a faded, fat man in a red suit with holey gloves and a missing nose. “Mom, what is that thing?” my oldest asked. “It was my mom’s,” was my only explanation.

On my youngest son’s second Christmas, we were all admiring the newly decorated tree in the center of our family room. We were listening to carols on the radio and I was reminiscing of Christmases past when all of a sudden my not-quite-2-year-old turned to the corner of the room and said, loudly and clearly, “Hi Grandma.” My husband and I both turned to see what he could possibly be talking to or about. I asked him, “Who are you talking to?”. “Mommy’s Mommy,” he stated matter-of-factly.

We had never mentioned my mom to him. A feeling of peace fell over me and an ever present ache in my heart seemed to pass. After all these Christmases without my mom, could it have been that she was there all along?

I believe that my best Christmas present ever, was my son meeting his grandma in front of the dingy, frosted ornaments and the tattered, faded Santa and seeing her daughter that became a mother so many Christmases ago."