My First Experience With Grief...

I am so pleased that I'm in town so I could attend my Talking On Paper writing group. I wanted to share what I wrote to read aloud.

Chester living it up before the chaos
With the recent death of my mother-in-law, I spent time reflecting on the several instances of loss I have experienced in my over six decades. Like anyone who has lived, loss is a natural part of life.

I thought back on my first experience with grief which was a direct result of my first experience with love. Chester Do Good Saffell was the runt of a litter of new Bassett Hounds chosen, and named, by my much older brother, Chuck. Chuck assumed his title of “Only Child” would endure forever. Chester was my parents’ second son. Boy and Dog spent several years of human/canine bliss before my parents shockingly expanded their family with two babies born within 10 months of one another when Chuck was 15.

For Chuck, Chester was probably a lifeline to normalcy. Needing to take him on walks was an escape from the chaos two children so close in age generated every moment of every day. He was a confidant, someone who would listen to Chuck’s list of all life’s unfairnesses. He loved unconditionally and truly was Chuck’s.

For me, Chester was a constant presence. He was there through my infancy, toddlerhood, and early childhood. He was the guard at the crib, the floor cleaner at the high chair, the support for a teetering new walker, and the warm comfort for boo-boos and timeouts.

I was the one, at age six, who discovered Chester when he died. Six. I remember it clearly. Even so young, I felt the loss.

Of all the loves I have lost, his presence was the shortest in my life. Perhaps because my heart was so small when he captured it, it filled a larger, forever space. Or perhaps as they say, we never forget our first love.

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Tahoe: Emerald Bay & Beyond

The year, 2024, will end as the record holder for Least Time Spent in Tahoe since purchasing our cabin in 2012. Next year will be different!

Currently, we are spending a few days in the Sierra and it is magnificent!
We began our day back at Taylor Creek hoping for a bear sighting. These fresh, wet paw prints indicate we were just a minute too late. Darn it.
No worries. The scenery made up for it!
Our ultimate destination was the shores of Emerald Bay. The last time Steve was here was December 5, 2023. It has been way too long!







There is absolutely no way to capture the giddiness we experienced sitting in solitude on the dock. If Tahoe is our Happy Place, Emerald Bay is our Happiest Place.

We ended our outing at Cuppa Tahoe for Steve's first time. This award-winning coffee shop and bookstore is a space where the owner "fosters human connection through food & drink, the magic of books, and inspiring, shared workspaces." A cup of coffee there is like being in a friend's home... a friend who has really cool furnishings, a plethora of books, unique gifts, and enviable stationery items. Wow. Day #1 was a huge success.

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Scenes from a Stroll...

One of our favorite family activities is to explore quaint neighborhoods, discovering new treasures.

On this day, some of my most loved things were found... clever mailboxes, delightful Little Free Libraries, and Mother Nature showing off.



This Little Free Library, housed in a grandfather clock, has to be one of the best I've seen. The fancy chairs, next to it, just demand a literary respite.


This tree demanded a hug.

“Today, I choose awareness.
I choose to be aware of the beauty of life and living.
I choose to be aware of the simple pleasures in life.
I choose awareness of joy,
awareness of peace,
and awareness of love.”
– Iyanla Vanzant

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Day of the Dead...

With the recent loss of Steve's Mom, celebrating Día de Muertos seemed a timely event for all of us Haerrs to do together.

The basic meaning of the Day of the Dead celebration hasn't changed over thousands of years, despite its evolving traditions. This holiday serves as a moment to honor and celebrate those who have departed from this life while also presenting death as an inevitable part of life. How healthy is that?
The town of Healdsburg honored this annual celebration with a beautiful marigold-adorned community altar where all were invited to share a memento of cherished family members or friends, as well as a variety of live music performances, Aztec dancing, a car show, face painting, games and crafts for kids... activities that connected the community through culture and heritage





The car show not only showcased some exceptional vintage vehicles, it displayed very personal altars. These were examples of the candlelit altars people set up in their homes so spirits can find their way back to their relatives. The altar offers some of the favorite foods of the deceased—just in case they get hungry. Items that were important to the ancestors when they were alive, such as a favorite book or musical instrument, are placed on the altar as well.


A question we all had was why Marigolds? It is believed that their bright colors and strong smell are thought to help guide the spirits of the dead back to their families. They represent the fragility of life and are used to decorate altars, or ofrendas. They are placed in paths in front of the altar to help guide the spirits.









The talents of the face painters were evidenced on young and old. What a delight.

Dancing and music filled the day.



This altar by True West Film Center was one of my favorites. Each votive honored an actor who has gone before us.
Sadly, there were those who had gone before us far too soon (Heath Ledger 1979-2008).
And lastly we need to discuss the skeletons. During Day of the Dead, life-size papier-mâché skeletons and miniature plastic or clay skeletons are everywhere. Why? Mexicans honor their ancestors on Day of the Dead, but they're also reminding themselves that death is just a part of life. Hanging out with skeletons reminds people that one day they will be skeletons. The skeletons are posed doing all sorts of wacky things, such as playing guitar, taking a bath, or making tortillas. Apparently people aren't the only ones who get to have fun on Día de Muertos.

We left this day with many things: fantastic memories of the merriment, face paint smeared everywhere, and most importantly, a unique way to look at life and death.

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